transport ourselves to an art museum and let us pause for a moment in front of an abstract painting . Through it we can see colors, shapes, figures, but we can get into it and try to think what the artist wanted to convey. This task is not easy, but it's exciting. Every work has a meaning for the painter, are not simply random strokes made as many hold.
However, when confronted with the concept of love, we can very easily enter into a "Tower of Babel", the many and varied meanings, sometimes even contradictory to give today. This is one of the most commonly used terms, but at the same time, one of the most frequently abused, therefore, we will unravel, come to understand, to uncover what it means in its entirety. This is critical to ask when am I in love / or ", the decision to put the boyfriend or girlfriend, marriage, etc.
To delve further into this very exciting, Let us turn to a hill. As that we will scale it clarifying what is meant by romantic love, self-giving love and reach the summit, where we find married love. This is hard work, and therefore is recommended for those bold, brave and really want to combat current and themselves.
It's time to make the trip, and therefore it is advisable to tackle the problems that will undoubtedly come, but not to be discouraged because it's worth, if you want to build a solid marriage.
As the first way to go is romantic love. This includes the popular infatuation. According to Thomas Melendo and Lourdes Millán Puelles (2002, p. 29) is "a sentimental love, aesthetic and emotional love or affection, physical attraction coupled with an interest in the concrete person of the opposite sex whose wonders are beginning to glimpse, and when it is reciprocated, it can provide involved a almost irresistible desire to see and talk again, to learn more about the other, to relate. " Also state that "we live more in the other than ourselves: it is he who gives his full meaning to all that with which we interact." (Oc, 2002, p.29)
Being in love is characterized as "floating in the clouds" have the sensation of touching the roof and jump of joy, not to see the time to meet, in turn, to appear as if the minutes pass very slowly when you're not with him / her and instead fly, when they are together. All this comes naturally, no one decides or intends to be in love with a person and therefore requires no effort on our part. As stated Hervada (1975, pg. 37): "the lover appears as a taxable person, love is something that springs from it and not produced by him." For this reason, it is very common to have sentences like this: "Love is stronger than me." This initial affection is limited and lies in the emotions, in a sense, that is instant, changeable nature, and therefore it is unable to make commitments and be loyal to them.
According to it, this love has to mature and develop. The downside of this kind of love that we can not put aside, is to idealize the person whom you love, not more than their positive qualities, and even magnify them, and for this reason that we do not love which is indeed the person, but only an illusion of it. This entails a disappointment if it is not wanting to pursue the path of the other so it really is, what is the one and only and not by the qualities you have, such as physical appearance, that this may ultimately be common to others. The
second pillar, we are in the journey we call love is the gift, which is characterized to establish their origins in romantic love, but has another kind. Vocation is born with a penchant for delivering our own personal self for ever from the depths of being, ie Unbalanced us to love ourselves and the other not only from the sensitivity and emotions, but also, through understanding and will. Also outweigh the personal qualities, ie who you are, what you are or how you are. The physical and spiritual virtues, according to Thomas Melendo (2001 in c 2002, pg. 36), "No longer common or similar to those of other individuals ... and almost infinitely attenuated the possibility - the temptation! - To feel attracted by similar attributes of different people, simply because the depth of rooting to personal status, love those who have exchanged only unavoidable, unique, and nothing like we could find. "
And now we ask, what is the sign that we are facing a real commitment? No more is required to answer a word, happiness. Courtship, marriage is happier the larger the mutual surrender and this requires the scene down to selfishness, individualism, and so on. and let it happen to be the main actor of the work, dedication, wait on the other.
After a long stretch, we reached the goal. Here we find married love. Thomas Melendo and Lourdes Millán-Puelles (c 2002, p. 39) notes that "the choice is conscious, freely accepted, to surrender completely to the other, accepted and loved as it is, in order to form a family." Thus the marriage is built on rock and not sand. Moreover Hervada (c 1975, pg. 30-31)) indicates that "conjugal love itself is not, in its essential core, feeling affectionate not instinct, not infatuation, it's willingness and tendency to union which drives and directs the various powers of human beings towards it, towards the union, according to the demands of justice and natural law inherent in the union. "
The conjugal act is not a game, but a profound manifestation of union, who have given forever through commitment. This conjugal love, be achieved if there is a gift of self: true, lasting and profound, as mentioned by the authors just listed. Now, do not pass as long as the marriage act to be authentic has to be the result of delivery and therefore a person can not be used, objectified. A clear sign of that objectification is the boredom, loneliness, melancholy, sadness, feeling a void in his life, etc. For this reason, it is important to note that you can not play with fire.
This tour we did, can serve as a compass to keep the North, which is essential for happiness. That is no small thing, since it is difficult to meet someone in life you choose not to. In turn, as any way to go you can avoid for many reasons, but the most fantastic thing is that you can always start over.
By F. Beltrán
Bibliography:
Melendo, Thomas (2001): "The dimensions of the person." Word. Madrid.
Melendo, Thomas and Millán-Puelles, Lourdes (2002): "Securing love." Rialp. Madrid.
Hervada (1975): "Dialogues on Love and Marriage" EUNSA Pamplona.
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