Sex in Marriage Vital increasingly hear more often cases of marriages that break with "sexual incompatibility "" frigid "or" sexual impotence. " In most cases, this has happened to have a misconception or distorted the meaning of sexual union between husband and wife.
God wanted a sexual encounter between male and female, since it has endowed each one of a harmonious set of organs and bodily functions, both psychological and spiritual aimed at meeting as full and complete expression of love. Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman.
In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses is a sign of spiritual communion.
Thus, Pope John Paul II said:
Sexuality, by which man and woman give themselves to each other with the acts proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something purely biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of love with which man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death. (FC, 11). In
Thus, the whole person expresses his love for delivery, the gift of oneself, another person, also delivered in the merger of their bodies become so without losing their individuality each, a "one flesh" , and reiterates Christ quoted Genesis:
"... And he said a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they become one. So they are no longer two but one flesh. " "Well, what God has joined together no man put asunder" (Mt. 19, 5-6).
Sexual union is then the fuller and deeper expression of conjugal love. It has its peak, because love covers whole person, from his spirit (intellect and will), heart (feelings, emotions and passions) to your body (genitals).
The Second Vatican Council says:
acts with which the couple are united intimately and chastely are noble and worthy, and so made "truly human", meaning, and fosters the donation, which enrich each other with joy and gratitude (GS, 49).
In the sexual encounter, as in many human activities that the person plays freely and consciously, God has impressed satisfaction as an incentive and reward for those: the pleasure.
So pleasure should not be an end in itself but a consequence: the satisfaction of a good act, in this case, the intimate union between the "husbands" ...
Thus, feeding activity, we are pleased taste; to relax the body, we have the pleasure of sleep in carnal union, sexual pleasure. But all these activities should be ordered for a purpose beyond pleasure, for example: eat to live, not live to eat and what food should have an order in and out of gluttony also forces sleep to repair, care laziness carnal union between a man and a woman should be ordered to marriage, which can be formed in self-control and most importantly, love for God and for the recognition of the dignity and respect that is ours ...
Hence, the responsibility of man in the sexual encounter has to be, seek , total surrender to the other, and not intended to seek pleasure. Pleasure is a satisfying, but not an end.
today's world so full of eroticism, strongly encourages the pursuit of pleasure in the sexual encounter, forgetting the delivery, the gift of self and fertility. SEXUALITY AND SEXUAL
The human person is sexually, that is, male or female.
The men and women, although they have the same dignity as People are different because they are sexed. At the same time complement each other.
sexual instinct in humans is a natural tendency of the two sexes attract one another in pursuit of unity, complementarity and fruitfulness. Has to be mastered and channeled by the will of the individual.
Conjugal love is the proper context to fully use human sexual orientation.
The body shape is genital sexuality. Comprising the male and female reproductive organs and their functions.
contemporary
A serious error is to confuse sexuality with genitalia.
nature of conjugal love
Love is an act of will. You seek the good of the beloved, as such. That is, find its good because it is individual.
Love is given, is delivery, is generosity. Love is the most sublime act of being human. Is to act as God acts.
Conjugal love is reciprocal, it encompasses the whole person: soul, feelings and body and is fruitful.
The ultimate expression of conjugal love is in the physical intimacy of the spouses. With the physical intimacy, the couple reflected in their total commitment marriage. The gift of self acquires its fullness.
Properties:
1. The drive: is the mutual gift of one man and one woman.
2. Indissolubility: To meet its objectives fully, conjugal love requires permanence. When there is true donation, you can not retract. For Christians, the sacrament of marriage, conjugal love becomes a sign of the absolutely faithful love that God has for man and that Jesus has for the Church. Real
:
1. Mutual fidelity: Being a full grant, total, this fidelity is of the heart, mind and body.
2. The sons are the "realization, the completion" of the total and fruitful love between spouses.
3. The link that is, the stability of the relationship, the result of the indissoluble unity and married love.
SEXUAL UNION OF HUSBANDS
is the deepest and most complete expression of conjugal love, and therefore has the same end of the same:
The unitive end: expression of total giving the gift of self to another and the search for his property.
The union of the spouses must be for your own good, ie mutual aid.
is the constant effort to develop an authentic community of people, to deal with all eventualities, to overcome the many obstacles that inevitably arise in the course of human lives, is more fortunate, and to build happiness.
union Pleasure sex is a good and lawful to favor the union of the spouses, but not the end of sexual union.
creative pro
End: Expression total, full and generous love bursting.
This means that within the natural and normal conducting (*) of the loving union (ie, that ejaculation takes place inside the vagina), acts of love, petting, when accepted by mutual agreement and in consideration of the "dignity" of human beings are perfectly legitimate.
(*) Note: natural, normal, referred to only for the human person, beyond what can be observed in natural ecosystems biological or animal life or lower system ...
In procreation, marital love is at the service of life. Cooperate with the love of God the Creator ... But worth mentioning that the procreative purpose of marriage is met with respect to any marriage is fruitful, even if not fertile, ie, although the couple can not have biological children ... your management to the will of God, your love will be fruitful in many ways ...
exercise of sexuality is permissible only within marriage legitimate, respecting the plan of divine wisdom reveals to man the two issues that encompasses marriage (the aspect unitive and procreative) and biological rhythms of sexuality.
a) Openness to life
recognize that one purpose of the conjugal union is procreation. The children are not only part of the family, but are the "embodiment or realization" of the deep love that you have the husbands.
God makes you share in his creative power. Collaborate to create men / beings for eternity. Intercourse, the couple makes co-creators with God in every creature showing the new action of God is a God historificación a permit be present again in the world as creator.
b) Responsible Parenthood
Use of intelligence and freedom to use responsibly the reproductive capacity. (Responsibility for responding to the gift God has given me.)
may exist valid reasons to temporarily postpone a new birth, but we must judge righteously, particularly avoiding selfishness.
c)
-criteria analysis of the duties to God and family.
-procreate is to communicate the fullness of life: material, human and spiritual.
-analysis of physical, economic, psychological and social.
-use moral means to practice responsible parenthood, are the means that respect for the conjugal act.
d) Acceptance of God's plan for my marriage in terms of fertility:
* The owner of life is God, not man.
* Children are a gift, not a right. * Use
moral means to ensure fertility. Are the means that respect the dignity of those involved: the couple and their son and the end of the conjugal act.
sterility
* OK if this means not resolved (as love conjugate beyond the fertile, is fertile). Other forms of fertility: the adoption, dedication to the apostolate, the help of others, etc..
RULES SEX
1. The delivery or obligation
basic desire of the spouses can not just think of yourself, seek your own pleasure, desire the other only for personal enjoyment.
If the meeting is really for love, maturity, surrender, is to seek the good of others. Both husband and wife, will be offered, will be given generously to the happiness of others.
We can clearly see the two stances. The first attempts to imprison the spouse, to make something of their own, use him.
is the negation of love and the culmination of egotism. The second, by contrast, focuses on the other hand, wants to be loved, he offered to go to his meeting with so that in marriage, can find joy and peace in the flesh, to achieve peace in his heart.
Reaching out to the other. Seek to surrender to it. Find your good, your happiness.
2. Self-mastery
remember that the sexual urge of men should be governed by his intelligence and his will. Should be subject to the service of man and not serve it first. The self-possessed man, master of his whole being. Therefore, sexuality and pleasure inherent in it does not have to obscure the intelligence and should not stray far from the will.
Love is, above all, an act of will. Sexual encounter is a generous gift to the other. The couple will not be lost in selfishness, only when both are masters of themselves.
The interior of each discipline is imposed here, otherwise the more lamentable failure.
Thus, the rule may be established as follows:
To treat his wife with justice and love, they must acquire a solid command of himself, as only this domain makes it possible union of mutual giving and generous.
3. The inner content
Self-mastery is also the only means which enables the union to be a communication of love, rather than an explosion of pleasure. What is more important in the sexual encounter is not pleasure that passes, but love it and stay prepared.
external gestures are only the physical expression of an inner reality: love, surrender, the union. If there is love behind each of their gestures, their meaningless. A look, a smile, a touch, if not inspired by love, they are nothing. The truth about love is that which endows each of them.
4.
tenderness
This is one of the most valuable rules for married life: the tenderness. The
can be defined as: The delicacy of heart which results in the delicacy of the gesture. For
those who truly love, as well as sexual orientation there is tenderness.
spontaneity of being born with full of love, is love that turns into touch, gaze, kiss, in the most full and free, without asking anything in return. The inner gesture, in short, is one that no calls, no calls and that, therefore, means everything. Love is the realm of the free. I give because I love you not because I expect nothing in return. therefore, where love blooms like a flower on the stem, also flourish tenderness. How important is cultivating! It is the perfume that gives its fragrance to the triviality of the everyday. Are those thousand little details that feeds love.
5. The
gestures of love and tenderness Gratuity must be transported to the sexual union itself. That will reveal the most important, and will prepare for the union, in the course of the preparations and after that union.
Gratuity should permeate the gestures of affection must extend to these two phases, preliminary and the other row, at the time of sexual communion.
remember what the Constitution Gaudium et Spes we keep saying:
This love (conjugal love) has his own way to express themselves and to perform. Consequently, the acts by which spouses are united intimately and chastely each other, are honest and worthy, and executed in a truly human means and promote the mutual gift that will enrich each other in an atmosphere of joyful gratitude. This love, ratified by the mutual commitment and above all the sacrament of Christ, is indissolubly faithful, body and spirit, in prosperity and in adversity, and therefore is excluded from it all adultery and divorce (GS, 49 .)
Hence, the limits of the gestures of conjugal love are the following:
1. Mutual dignity of marriage and love spontaneity.
2. Within the natural and normal conduct of the union of love (that ejaculation takes place inside the vagina) acts of love, petting, when accepted by mutual agreement and in consideration of the dignity of human beings are perfectly legitimate.
Note: It should be noted that the pseudo medical specialty known as sexology, part of an ideological stance that commands it, the science that investigates human sexuality, less objective and detached from real human anthropology and therefore promotes practices contrary to human dignity ... A Christian marriage, to have need guidance in this regard, you should seek a professional who shares your principles.
CHASTITY Chastity is the virtue that defends the love of the perils of selfishness and aggressiveness, and promotes it to its full realization.
Chastity's sexuality includes the person in the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual.
be chaste or caste, is to make our whole person: intellect, will, emotions and body are governed by ourselves.
The chaste person feels the pulse of their sexual and controls (not repressed, the sublime), promotes love your spouse manifest in many different ways and owns all his being.
To be chaste is required: know yourself, accept, improve, practice the moral virtues and ask God for help supernatural to achieve full integration of all our faculties, through participation in the sacraments and prayer.
should be chastity in marriage, as husband and wife should be "full" fidelity and love each other. This requires the mastery of the senses of each, to address the ongoing degradation of society, which often does not respect the status of married spouses undergoing frequent temptations ...
"There is no doubt that among those conditions must include the persistence and patience, humility and strength of mind, filial trust in God and his grace, the frequent recourse to prayer and the sacraments of the Eucharist and reconciliation. And comforted, Christian spouses may keep alive the awareness of the unique influence that the grace of the sacrament of marriage has on all the realities of married life, and therefore also about their sexuality: The gift of the Spirit, received and reciprocated by the husbands, helping them to live human sexuality as God's plan as a sign of the unitive and fruitful love of Christ for his Church ... "Familiaris Consortio sixth paragraph number 33
Authors: Francisco Castañera and Francisco Antillón